The Wasted Onion

I Am Mandating Everyone In The Newsroom Wears Smart Glasses So I Can Watch Them Go To The Bathroom

I Am Mandating Everyone In The Newsroom Wears Smart Glasses So I Can Watch Them Go To The Bathroom

Small-Town Conspiracy Theorists Find Master Console To Our Simulation

Small-Town Conspiracy Theorists Find Master Console To Our Simulation

Israel Found To Be Torturing Palestinian Prisoners By Playing Temper City's ‘Self Aware’ On Loop

29 SEPTEMBER 2026

Israel Found To Be Torturing Palestinian Prisoners By Playing Temper City's ‘Self Aware’ On Loop

Ed Sheeran's Guitar Withdraws From His U.S. Tour

26 SEPTEMBER 2026

Ed Sheeran's Guitar Withdraws From His U.S. Tour

John Ternus Removes RAM From All Apple Products For Shits And Giggles

25 SEPTEMBER 2026

John Ternus Removes RAM From All Apple Products For Shits And Giggles

Angry Birds Enter Rehab For Crippling Gambling Addictions

23 SEPTEMBER 2026

Angry Birds Enter Rehab For Crippling Gambling Addictions

The Wasted Onion's Graphic Design Department Has Been Locked In In The Office Basement

22 SEPTEMBER 2026

The Wasted Onion's Graphic Design Department Has Been Locked In In The Office Basement

Experts Discover Yellow River Is Yellow Because Godzilla Pissed In It

21 SEPTEMBER 2026

Experts Discover Yellow River Is Yellow Because Godzilla Pissed In It

Trump Deports Hurricanes

20 SEPTEMBER 2026

Trump Deports Hurricanes

Trump Gives Up On Greenland Plans After Seeing New UN Map

19 SEPTEMBER 2026

Trump Gives Up On Greenland Plans After Seeing New UN Map

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