BEIJING, CHINA—Answering a geographical mystery that has baffled historians for centuries, researchers at Tsinghua University announced Monday that they have conclusively discovered the Yellow River is yellow because Godzilla pissed in it.

"This is the discovery of my career," said Dr. Liang Guanyu, the lead researcher of the study into the Yellow River. "We have wondered for centuries what gave the Huanghe its distinctive yellow hue. Thanks to new cutting-edge DNA analysis developed by our team, we can now successfully conclude that the infamous kaiju Godzilla took a massive piss in the river many millennia ago, leaving the water system tinted piss yellow forever."

The study, which spanned over three years, involved researchers from across China collecting samples from the piss-stained river and conducting extensive blind taste-tests with the general public. Participants were fully unaware they were consuming the urine of the radioactive prehistoric reptilian, instead being informed by project leads that they were simply sampling a new brand of apple juice.

"This has massive implications for the broader river ecosystem," said Dr. Guanyu in an interview with The Wasted Onion while being held at knife point. "If the Yellow River is full of kaiju piss, what about other major bodies of water? For example, what if the Nile is actually full of King Kong's piss or even shit? If so, it fundamentally rewrites the way in which our world works."

At press time, Godzilla declined to comment on the findings, instead opting to swim to Scotland and flatten The Wasted Onion’s newsroom like a bug beneath his foot.