WASHINGTON—Following heavy losses across the country in Tuesday's midterm elections, even in traditional strongholds like Texas, South Carolina, and Kansas, the Republican Party has demanded it be given participation seats in both the House of Representatives and the Senate.

"Winning elections is not the only important metric for determining who gets seats in the House and Senate," said outgoing Speaker of the House Mike Johnson during a press conference outside the Capitol. "We must also account for the emotional labour our candidates put into their campaigns. Just because the electorate overwhelmingly chose our opponents doesn't mean our candidates should be excluded from sitting on committees, casting votes, proposing bills, or receiving a gold sticker that reads ‘it's the taking part that counts!’"

According to GOP insiders, the party is hoping to establish participation seats as a way to allow losing Republican nominees, such as Texas's Ken Paxton and Michigan's Mike Rogers to share a seat with winning Democratic candidates Abdul El-Sayed and James Talarico. Due to constraints caused by the physical size of the Senate chamber, the GOP is suggesting that participation seat holders get to sit directly on the laps of their winning counterparts.

"It is utterly preposterous for the Republican Party to expect us to give them seats for free," said Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer. "This is the party that complains ad nauseam about ‘participation trophies,’ and now they expect the Democrats to just simply share our newfound political power? Even after voters made it clear that they do not want a Republican-led House or Senate? I will be clear: we will not be giving away any participation seats. At least not until I decide the time is right to shoot myself in the foot again."

At press time, President Donald Trump announced that he would be signing an executive order creating participation seats, warning Democratic leaders that he will sign the order twice if they do not offer any seats to losing Republican candidates.