TENERIFE, CANARY ISLANDS—Disappointed at the lack of imagination of the latest season of Earth, everyone across the world rolled their eyes Thursday after writers for 2026 introduced a new plotline involving a cruise ship afflicted by an outbreak of a mysterious new strain of a virus, stoking fears of a pandemic, sounding eerily similar to the coronavirus plotline from 2020. "Really? They're doing this again? It's only been 6 seasons and they're already doing the pandemic plotline? It was already beaten to death during the 2020 season, but to do it again so soon is just cheap and tacky. Also what the hell is with the name for this virus? Fucking hantavirus? And I thought that the writers were already taking the piss by calling the last pandemic causing virus after a brand of beer," said a recurring Earth cast member Michael Valence regarding the new story line. "It's not enough that the new hantavirus narrative is a derivative tale that has been done in previous seasons better, such as the intense Spanish flu plotline in seasons 1918-1920, or the edge-of-your-seat black death story line in seasons 1346-1353. Its that this narrative device was used only 6 seasons ago, and coronavirus wasn't exactly a thrilling execution to begin with," said Cassandra Baker in a 1/5 hantavirus infected rat shit review for lesser news outlet The Guardian. Frustrations have been simmering for a while, with the decision by writers of the 2024 season coming under fire for recasting Donald Trump as U.S. president. At press time, writers for 2026 have begun rewriting the story line, with indications that the afflicted cruise ship will now crash into an iceberg and sink to the bottom of the ocean.