WASHINGTON—Declaring the milestone as “the most powerful start,” to any U.S. presidential term, Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt recapped the first 100,000,000 days of President Trump’s second term. “In a mere 100 million days, our commander-in-chief has already ushered in a new golden age of American excellence not seen at any time in history,” said Mrs. Leavitt during a press briefing in the West Wing. “Not just has he shown strong leadership, he has also demonstrated his tenacity. Directing the CDC to develop a magnificent serum that has allowed this administration to live far beyond the normal human lifespan, and all we had to do was increase the birthrate enough so that we have enough young blood to keep us perpetually youthful.” Leavitt went on to say that Trump would work tirelessly for the rest of his 1,095,162-year term until election day in 1,097,187. At press time, a shortage of young blood, caused due to malfunctions of fridges at the CDC had resulted in Mrs. Leavitt ageing 273,790 years instantaneously, resulting in her shrivelling up into a “raisin like,” state according to members of the media present at the press briefing.