WASHINGTON—Handing the Trump administration a major legal victory Tuesday, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that President Donald Trump may proceed with building his controversial White House ball pit.

"I am pleased to report that the United States Supreme Court has just ruled in favour of the Ball Pit being built without any further contingency, doubt, or threat," wrote the president in a post to his Truth Social account celebrating the ruling. "We are living in the Golden Age of America, and this Ball Pit will be one of the Greatest ever constructed in Washington, D.C. When completed in the Summer of 2028, the magnificent Ball Pit and Military Slide will be something that the entire Country is very proud of."

In a 5-4 ruling, the Supreme Court cleared a path for President Trump to complete his ultimate goal of remaking the U.S. capital in his own image, with the ball pit serving as the centrepiece of this ambition. According to the currently approved plans, the White House ball pit will consist of a 100cm-wide Chad Valley branded playpen in blue, with 100 multicoloured plastic balls. Situated on the South Lawn, near the Marine One helipad, the architectural project will also feature a bespoke tactical slide engineered by the Marine Corps Forces Special Operations Command (MARSOC) to ensure the president doesn't hurt his precious little tushie.

"This ruling is no victory for the separation of powers," wrote Chief Justice John Roberts in his dissenting opinion. "The ball pit is a building or structure being erected on federal grounds, the South Lawn, in the District of Columbia. Yet Congress has not passed any law resembling ‘express authority’ for the executive’s construction of it. To allow the construction of such a structure is purely absurd, especially as it will only be used by the president and other world leaders on state visits, barring justices such as myself from enjoying the simple pleasures of a plastic ball pit."

At press time, construction had been temporarily halted following reports of Eric Trump and Donald Trump Jr. pissing in the ball pit.