SACRAMENTO, CA—Declaring another "win" for his administration, U.S. President Donald Trump wrote in a Truth Social post Friday that he has successfully flooded California, renamed the resulting expanse the "Straight [sic] of America," and officially blocked all maritime traffic from entering or exiting the new waterway. "I've never liked California," said the president, standing in the Oval Office beside an infographic drawn in black Sharpie of the new waterway. "It was too wide, very loose, sad! I prefer my straits the way I like my underage girls, small and tight. I've made it better. It's the ‘Strait of America’ now. They've got water everywhere, so much water. We're blocking the whole thing. Nobody can go in or out until the Americans surrender and agree to end the war." Reporters from lesser news outlets present in the White House were baffled, wondering if Mr. Trump was potentially confusing his war with Iran and blockade of the Strait of Hormuz with the U.S. and it's new Strait of America, which was created by drowning 39 million Californians. "This proves once again how little Trump cares about anyone other than himself," said California Governor Gavin Newsom as he struggled to keep his head above water. "He would rather merge the entirety of California into the Pacific Ocean than give people anything that would improve their lives. And now he's gone even further by turning us into a ‘strait’ and then blocking it, just like he did with the Strait of Hormuz, hurting the American economy all over again." Newsom then began to slowly sink beneath the waves, disappearing into the murky depths of the Strait of America with a single, solitary gurgle. At press time, algae began to grow in the newly christened Strait of America after Trump had federal contractors paint the sea-floor of the waterway with the same "American flag blue" polyurea sealant used recently during renovations of the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.