WASHINGTON—Escalating an increasingly bitter trade war with his northern neighbour, U.S. President Donald Trump announced Thursday that the United States will now officially recognise Canada under the name "America But Maple Syrup."

"The American People have had ENOUGH of Canada and how its RIPPING OFF our Brave Patriots," wrote the president on his Truth Social account Thursday morning. "Governor Carney is a FAILURE! His tariffs are WEAK!!! No Good! We must stand up to the Canadian MENACE!! This is why I am confirming that I have ordered the Board on Geographic Names to rename the Area of land previously known as Canada as America But Maple Syrup! PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP."

The name change, formalised via an executive order signed by President Trump in the Oval Office, requires the Geographic Names Information System be updated to reflect the new designation, in turn forcing revisions of federal government maps, contracts, documents, communications, and novelty stress balls styled to resemble the Earth within 30 days. Online mapping services such as Google Maps and Apple Maps have already complied, displaying "America But Maple Syrup" for U.S.-based accounts, "Canada" for Canadian users, and "Canada (America But Maple Syrup)" for international traffic.

"America can name Canada whatever it wishes, but we will not be intimated," said Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney following Trump's Truth Social post. "Canada will stand strong against the economic threats coming from the United States of America. While the U.S. government is free to refer to Canada as whatever they wish, such as a breakfast condiment, the international community will continue to recognise our sovereignty as a democratic country. Our retaliatory tariffs remain, regardless of weather Donald Trump chooses to address me as Governor, Mark Dumbney, or simply ugly. We will not stand down."

At press time, the Canadian House of Commons passed an emergency bill to officially re-designate the United States as "Canada But Epstein."