WASHINGTON—Sharing the bombshell news to his social media platform Thursday, U.S. President Donald Trump has announced he is now engaged to Canadian Prime Minister Mark Carney, adding that the wedding will be held at the presidents upcoming Trump Land theme park. "Based upon a very productive meeting that I have had with the Prime Minister of Canada, Mark Carney, we have formed the framework of a future marriage with an engagement, with the ceremony taking place at TRUMP LAND! This marriage, if consummated, will be a great one for the United States of America, and all NATO Nations. Based upon this understanding, I will not be imposing the Tariffs that were scheduled to go into effect on February 1st. Additional discussions are being held concerning who gets to wear the dress," said a portion of a lengthy post made by the president to his Truth Social account. "My friend, I would like to congratulate you on your engagement to the Canadian PM. Let us try to build great things : i can set up a meeting in Paris on friday afternoon. I can invite the ukrainians, the danish, the syrians and the russians so they can help arrange the wedding at trump land," read a text message sent by French President Emmanuel Macron to Trump which the latter posted onto social media. Trump administration officials signalled in multiple interviews on Fox News and various podcasts hosted by complete fuckwits that the marriage would signal the U.S. and Canada becoming a single nation. At press time, Carney responded to the news of the engagement with bafflement, stating "I didn't agree to this, and I would never marry Trump, just look at how miserable Melania is."