BOSTON, MA—Alarmed that the global supply chain is reaching a breaking point, experts and local bar owners warned Friday that the Tartan Army's consumption of beer during the World Cup is putting immense strain on the Strait of Horbooze, the world's busiest and most strategically important international shipping lane for crude beer.

Due to the massive spike in alcohol consumption since the Tartan Army descended on Boston for Scotland's first World Cup appearance in 28 years, tankers in the Strait of Horbooze have been working around the clock to keep up with the pace of demand. The frantic pace has resulted in multiple near-misses and two minor collisions, as captains forgo standard maritime safety to get more tankers and crude beer to Boston before the Tartan Army are forced to resort to drinking Bud Light.

The Strait of Horbooze, a narrow waterway between the nations of Vodkastan and the United Arab Inebriates, is one of the world's most critical strategic waterways, where 73% of the entire global supply of unrefined lager is pumped from underground reservoirs and ferried through the strait to all four corners of the world daily.

"It's goddamn chaos," said bar owner Benjamin Barnes. "The Scotland supporters are drinking beer like its going out of fashion. They even say weird shit, like this one guy saying their friend is ‘oot yer nut,’ or they come up to order and say they want to get ‘blootered.’ Like, what? And they all keep saying the bar is ‘absolutely hoachin.’ Is that bad? Should I call an exterminator to get rid of roaches? I mean, don't get me wrong, I am making plenty of cash thanks to them. But at this rate I think we're going to have a global beer recession the likes of which we haven't seen since 2008. If we don't have at least, like, 50 tankers leaving the Horbooze tonight, we are fucked."

As demand for crude beer soared due to the Tartan Army's unquenchable thirst for spirits, the price of unrefined booze has skyrocketed to $127 per barrel, while briefly reaching a high of $169 per barrel. Experts are warning that these higher prices could drive the cost of all alcoholic drinks to prices even higher than during prohibition. Some experts in the global lager supply chain have suggested trying to widen the exit of the Strait of Horbooze, suggesting that thousands of Vodkastani children equipped with pickaxes could chip away some shoreline, potentially allowing more booze-filled vessels to flow through at once.

"This is developing into a very dire situation for the entire global lager supply chain at a pace we cannot have predicted," said Erica Kirkland, CEO of alcohol research firm Alcoholium. "While the blockage of the Suez Canal or blockade of the Strait of Hormuz was a massive hit to global trade and energy markets, the traffic jam in the Strait of Horbooze threatens our fundamental need to drown our sorrows," said Ms. Kirkland as she took a swig of Smirnoff before washing it down with a glass of Guinness. "From divorced men to tired soccer moms, if we see the world enter a full-blown alcohol recession due to Tartan Army-related intoxicant indulgence, we're looking at a future where the classic alcoholic is having to take a glass of hand sanitiser to function."

As beer markets descended into chaos, manufacturers of alcoholic beverages attempted to quell fears that they would not be able to produce enough lager to quench the thirst of the Tartan Army. "We are working as hard as we can to ensure that Boston and the whole world gets all the alcohol it wants as well as needs to function," said Sir Dave Lewis, CEO of Diageo. "While we wait for more crude beer to produce at our usual scale, we do ask that if you have any WKD to please hand it over to their nearest Diageo distillery so we may recycle it into other products, as we know no one in their right mind drinks that shit."

Meanwhile, crew members aboard the vast fleet of tankers vying to navigate the Strait of Horbooze have reported intense, sleepless nights as they struggle to hold back the tide of Scottish-fueled demand. With reports emerging of deckhands and captains consuming some of the crude beer aboard as their cargo just to stay awake through their exhausting schedules. Furthermore, eyewitnesses from both Vodkastan and the United Arab Inebriates have reported claims that the Strait of Horbooze itself has gotten intoxicated, causing the waterways currents to become more unpredictable, with experts attributing the phenomenon to vast amounts of unrefined lager being accidentally poured into the water by drunken sailors.

"I don't know how much more I can take," said Issac Lowe, a deckhand aboard the She Got The House, a beer tanker carrying over 3.4 million barrels of crude beer and attempting to navigate out of the Strait of Horbooze. "We've been here for days. We usually only take about a few hours to leave the strait. But there are just so many tankers trying to get in or out at once, all because Scotland is trying to drink every single drop of beer that has ever touched Boston. You know what's even crazier? All this cargo we're carrying, this unrefined, crude beer?" said Mr. Lowe as he panned his phone camera around to show the millions of barrels behind him. "It's all for Boston. Not multiple cities or states. One fucking city. The captain thinks this is only enough for maybe two hours. Two fucking hours! What the hell are Scottish people made of? If I didn't know any better I'd actually believe that they're made of girders since they drink Irn-Bru."

"I dinnae ken what all the fuss is aboot," said long-time Scotland supporter Morgan MacCrain to reporters while sat in a bar located in central Boston. "I've had a blether with some of the yanks and they're pretty sound, ya ken? All quite bonnie and canny. But some these numpties going on aboot us Scots getting pished are talkin keech. Aye, we like tae drink, but are ye moaning aboot it, eh? We're giving ye plenty of spondoolies for the pleasure, ye bawbag."

Another Scotland supporter, Amy Campbell, shared a similar sentiment as she put a traffic cone on the head of a statue. "Them fandan's oot there talking pure pish like. We're just here for the fitba' ya ken? Like aye, we have a swally while we're oot here, but that's part of tae fun, eh? Aw ye have tae dae is serve Tennent's or some other shite. We'll happily pay ye. Why no just get a few kelpies to get the beer fae the strait, eh? Problem solved!"

At press time, the U.S. Department of Intoxicants was reportedly formalising plans to release strategic reserves of Scotch Whisky and Tennent's into the Boston water system, with officials claiming the move was a last-ditch attempt to satiate the Tartan Army's endless thirst.