LONDON—In an effort to convince Labour MPs that he should retain his job following mounting calls to resign from his position, such as from Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar, British Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer has threatened to kill Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Larry the cat. "I swear, if you come even an inch closer, I will do it! I don't care how ‘beloved’ this stupid tabby is, I will fight to the bitter end for this job! I know you love Larry, he's the only thing that keeps you sad sacks willing to come into No. 10. So, let me stay as PM, and the cat stays unharmed," threatened the Prime Minister as he brandished a kitchen knife and held it up to Larry's neck. "I know you all think I'm some weak-willed pushover who will do whatever the hell you want. Especially you backbenchers! But make no mistake, I will slit this kitty's throat if you even think of forcing me out the door. Watch as the very fabric of Britain is torn to shreds when they learn the only thing they like about UK politics is snuffed out in an instant with the simple movement of a knife." As MPs and civil servants pleaded with Starmer to let the Chief Mouser go, the 19-year-old feline fought back, using guerrilla tactics like scratching and biting the PM while looking right pissed off. Following the incident which sent Starmer to A&E, Larry gave an exclusive interview to lesser news outlet ITV News while prowling the perimeter of 10 Downing Street, saying that Starmer was a "meow" and a massive "meow meow," leaving press shocked at his crude and vulgar language.