LONDON—Condemning the women's rights political movement as “disgraceful” and describing its demonstrations as “acts of vandalism,” British Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer said he will move to proscribe the suffragettes as a terrorist group under anti-terrorism laws. “I have decided to proscribe the Women's Social and Political Union, also known as the suffragettes under section 3 of the Terrorism Act 2000. A draft proscription order will be laid in Parliament on Monday. If passed, it will make it illegal to be a member of, or invite support for the suffragettes,” said Home Secretary Yvette Cooper in a statement to parliament. “Since its inception in 1903, the WSPU has orchestrated a nationwide campaign of direct criminal action against businesses and institutions, including key national infrastructure with the aim of progressing its political cause and influencing the Government to give women who won’t shut the fuck up the right to vote. Given significant public concern over recent activities by this group, I have decided to confirm this decision to proscribe these annoying women that don’t listen to their husbands to the landfill.” At press time, the Government was reportedly seeking legal advice on if it could proscribe the BBC as terrorists for broadcasting Bob Vylan’s Glastonbury performance.