THE INTERNET—Reflecting on his childhood in the newly released tell-all memoir, wasteof President Kiwi admitted that people have frequently inquired if he lived in New Zealand. “Growing up, people kept asking me if I lived in New Zealand for some reason. All through my adolescence I’ve very often been asked this for what is seemingly no reason at all. I tried asking close friends, family, colleagues, fellow students and even the homeless guy behind the dollar store why everyone thought I am from New Zealand. People online were no different, constantly inquiring if it’s ‘weird to live in a country that isn’t on the map,’ which most certainly baffled me beyond belief,” read a passage from the president’s new “Wasting Away” memoir. “Beyond that, people throughout my life would also referred to me as a ‘geek’ and even on occasion ‘mini.’ Trying to ask about this was even more fruitless, with zero reasons given that would satisfy my endless quest to understand these labels placed on me. If I hadn’t known any better, it was like I had created some sort of online profile that referred to me as a ‘mini kiwi geek,’ which would’ve been quite an odd thing for me to do.” Kiwi’s memoir also details his thoughts and memories from dying and being resurrected multiple times while stranded on a desert island, as well as having to be around other wasteof users for more than 10 seconds. In a 6/7 star review for The Wasted Onion, book reviewer Daniel McBadread said that the memoir was a “fantastic payday thanks to the Crack House handing us a fat stack of wonga to review this bullshit, thanks idiots!”