SOMERSET, ENGLAND—Expressing confusion and frustration over differentiating the musical acts it is attempting to investigate over comments made during their performances at Glastonbury Festival, Avon and Somerset Police said Tuesday it is still figuring out the difference between Bob Vylan, Bob Dylan and Kneecap. “We’re launching an appeal to the attendants of the 2025 Glastonbury Festival in helping us understand what separates Bob Vylan from Bob Dylan, as our own forensics haven’t been much help. Is Bob Vylan the Irish rap group? Are the two black males Bob Dylan perhaps? Is Kneecap the iconic American singer-songwriter? If you can explain it to us, please get in touch,” said Chief Constable Sarah Crew at a press briefing. “So wait, you’re telling me that only two of these acts were even performing at Glastonbury? Well fuck,” said the Chief Constable after a reporter from lesser news outlet BBC explain that Bob Dylan was in America and not Glastonbury. Ms. Crew went on to ask if Kneecap is Kanye West's new name. Concluding the press event, Ms. Crew asked the public to help the force understand the difference between Bob Vylan, Bobby Vylan and Bobbie Vylan.