MEMPHIS, TN—Professionally marketing his businesses capabilities to a boardroom full of government officials, Kevin Watts, CEO of an arms manufacturer, said his company's technology makes killing children feel just like how it does in a video game. “I can assure you ladies and gentlemen, my company’s technology is so sophisticated and powerful that it makes the act of snuffing out the life of a small 5-year-old child as their eyes become unblinking and body stiff feel as emotionally detached as running an NPC over in Grand Theft Auto,” said Mr. Watts to the boardroom of U.S. government officials all frothing at the mouth at the very thought of killing even more innocent children. “Our brave troops won’t need to think once about the arms industry's hand in perpetuating violence and enabling one of the most powerful and evil empires thirst for endless power and desire to completely conquer the world and have it grovel at its feet. That’s all thanks to my company's new drone that can make dropping a missile payload upon a remote village of ordinary people feel like gameplay from the latest Call of Duty or Battlefield.” The CEO went on to exuberantly recall testing out a new nerve agent his company had developed on three civilians with terminal conditions, describing how he laughed manically as the subjects convulsed and vomited up blood while begging for mercy or death, whichever came first. At press time, Lockheed Martin and Raytheon had begun a bidding war to purchase Kevin Watt’s company, showing excitement at the possibilities for new cruel and unusual pain that could be unleashed upon humanity that all the while gives the same satisfaction when one jumps on a Goomba in a Super Mario game.