REDMOND, WA—Hailing the newest changes made to its flagship operating system as "the next era of personal computing" Thursday, tech giant Microsoft has released an update for Windows 11 that removes everything except for its AI chatbot Copilot. "Today we are proud to announce the future of Windows, Microsoft and computing with the latest update heading for a PC near you. We're calling it ‘Agentic Nothingness,’ a whole new way to experience Windows 11 and technology through the Copilot app, and only through the Copilot app. To help bring this new vision to life, we have removed everything from Windows 11 other than the Copilot app," said Microsoft CEO Satya Nadella in a statement that he claims was written by Copilot, which he was unable to copy and paste into an email due to removing the ability to do so from Windows 11. "We feel it was necessary to remove all distractions to bring our ‘Agentic Nothingness’ to life, that means no more taskbar, start menu, shut down button, programs, paint, notepad, and whatever other stuff we used to make. We're Microsoft, the AI company, we don't have time to make ‘features’ that people find ‘useful,’ all we have time for is getting that glorious line to go up, and AI is fantastic at doing that." Reactions to the update were mixed, with many users expressing frustration that the OS no longer had any discernible features other than Copilot, while some others found that at least the company finally removed their Edge web browser. At press time, Microsoft announced it would rename itself to Copilot Company Enterprise Business 365 Series X.