ADELAIDE, AUSTRALIA—Leaving his family mourning as he was laid to rest Wednesday, local man Logan Hansen died at the age of 53 from heart failure after refusing a heart transplant while demanding to have a "cisplant" instead. "There is no fucking way I am having a so-called heart transplant," said Mr. Hansen to doctors while putting emphasis on the term "trans" in the word "transplant," before continuing by implying his cardiologist was "trying to forcefully shove the trans agenda into my heart chambers." For several months, Mr. Hansen's doctors, family, and friends made repeated attempts to convince him that the procedure had nothing to do with transgender people, none of which swayed him. "You aren't gonna trick me! I know what you're doing, you're going to replace my manly heart with a trans one. This new heart will then make me start having a deep desire to wear feminine clothes, grow out my hair, take estrogen, and eventually have myself present as a woman. I see right threw all you woke mind virus infected zombies. You won't fool me. Either you give me a procedure that is thoroughly cisgender, a cisplant if you will, or I will let my gender-conforming heart give out on me." At press time, Mr. Hansen was laid to rest at the local cemetery with his favourite Blåhaj soft toy.