WACO, TX—Attempting to win an argument with his friends on Discord, gamer Ray Summers intentionally blinded himself Tuesday to prove that playing Minecraft with the narrator feature enabled is actually useful.

"Look guys, I'm telling you, the narrator feature is actually good! How are y'all so naive?" asked Mr. Summers while on a Discord voice call with his friends, busy building an Iron Golem farm in their shared multiplayer survival world. "Y'know what? If y'all won't believe me, I guess you leave me no choice but to take matters into my own hands to settle this debate once and for all. Be right back!" shouted Summers, exiting the view of his webcam as he went to find an effective method to permanently impair his vision.

Family members reported that Summers attempted multiple methods of self-blinding, including poking his eyes with a fork, staring directly into the sun for prolonged periods, watching a video clip of HHS Secretary RFK Jr. eating roadkill, and lingering on X/Twitter comments for two seconds. Ultimately, Summers achieved full and total blindness after gazing at a photograph of actor Jared Leto for a full second.

"Okay guys, I'm back!" announced Summers as he stumbled into his room, colliding with every single piece of furniture before collapsing into his gaming chair with a loud thud. "Let's give this a go now. Y'all are gonna look so stupid when I absolutely ace this shit while blind!"

As the friend group resumed playing, Summers enabled the narrator feature, letting it read aloud the items on his hotbar and inventory. "Looks like you guys owe me an apology," said the smug, sightless gamer. However, his triumph was short-lived. He soon discovered that the text-to-speech narrator does not announce when a user is about to walk straight into the path of a Creeper and fall into lava, which is precisely what happened to Summers as the group went mining for diamonds.

At press time, Summers's friends told The Wasted Onion that they were going to suggest that he just use a blindfold to simulate being sightless, but that he had run out of earshot before they could make the suggestion.