The Wasted Onion

@Leaks Confirms Chance He Overthrows Kiwi Administration Low, Not Necessarily Zero

@Leaks Confirms Chance He Overthrows Kiwi Administration Low, Not Necessarily Zero
8 JULY 2025

THE INTERNET—Sharing the latest information from his trusted source, wasteof account @leaks claimed that while the chances of him overthrowing the incoming Kiwi administration was low, it was not necessarily zero. “According to my sources, I can confirm that the chances of Kiwi being overthrown by me is fairly low, but is not completely off the table,” said a post made to the accounts page, refusing to explain exactly how high or low the chances are of a coup devised by the account. “Wait hold on, you’re saying there’s a non-zero chance you will violently overthrow me as president of wasteof? Oh no,” said a worried president-elect Kiwi on his wasteof account Tuesday. Leaks quickly responded, saying that according to his trusted source the chances of a violent insurrection are low, but not impossible. As other members of the social media platform began to chime in, owner Jeffalo said in a post late afternoon that “the only person doing any overthrowing here is me,” before proceeding to elect himself president of wasteof.