THE INTERNET—Causing surprise across the social media site over their remarkable timekeeping skills, wasteof user and vice president-elect Late turned up to their and president-elect Kiwi’s inauguration on time. “Late? You’re here on time? What in the world? You’re never on time for anything, not even your own birth,” said Kiwi in astonishment as he saw Late arriving at the inauguration with time to spare in case certain aspects of the event run over their expected length. “I mean, wait, let me check that my watch is set to the right time. Wow, okay, it is. How did you do this man? Like seriously, you have always been late to everything, and now suddenly you’re not just on time, you’ve got minutes to spare? I don’t even recognise you anymore.” Fellow wasteof users attending the inauguration shared similar surprise at the situation, with site owner Jeffalo expressing astonishment that the vice-president elect was on time and that this joke was still going. During a brief interview with The Wasted Onion before being sworn in, Late said they were “tired of being defined by my namesake, I want to be more than Late, I want to be Early” before quietly sobbing.