LONDON—Taking a brief moment to adjust his tie before speaking at the lectern placed outside 10 Downing Street Thursday, British Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer announced he has defected to Nigel Farage's Reform UK party. “While my government has begun the massive task of bringing our plan for change to Great Britain, I’ve realised that continuing to be the leader of the Labour party has been detrimental to this plan. With all of that in mind, I am announcing today that I am joining Reform UK as their newest MP. Working hand in hand with Nigel Farage will allow us to bring my plan for change and his plan of eradicating minorities to life, plus they’re polling way better than Labour right now so I’m better hitching my wagon sooner rather than later,” said the Prime Minister to a shocked press gaggle before he proceeded to scale the nearest streetlight and affix a Union Jack to it. “I am delighted to hear that Starmer has made the right choice, realising that Britain needs reform and a party that doesn’t hide its vitriol towards migrants, the LGBTQ+ community, antisemitism, racism, sexism and overall bigotry behind a thinly veiled centrist ideology and instead a far-right populist one. I’m so excited for Daddy Don to come and save Britain from woke transgender snowflake liberal cucks!” said Reform UK leader Nigel Farage somewhere far away from his constituency of Clackton. Later after the announcement, Starmer announced at a press briefing with Farage that they planned to replace the “one in, one out” policy with a new “just fucking stab them to death” policy. At press time, former Prime Minister and Conservative party leader Liz Truss announced her bid to become the next leader of the Labour party, claiming that Chancellor Rachael Reeves “can’t even fuck up the economy” as well as Mrs. Truss could.