WASHINGTON—Expressing confusion regarding the commander-in-chief’s health during an interview, Vice President JD Vance said Tuesday he was unsure whether President Donald Trump was dead or not. “To be completely frank with you, I haven’t got a clue right now if the president is still breathing as we speak right now. For all I know, he could be faced down on his desk in the oval office dead with his hand jammed down a Pringles can,” said the vice president during an interview with lesser news outlet and borderline state-sponsored media Fox News. “The last time I spoke to the president he talked a lot about Heaven and how it didn’t have glamorous penthouses for the real ‘bad boys’ in Hell for some reason. He has a strange sense of humour sometimes, but that's what the American people find so endearing about our president, his unyielding ability to make every word that comes out of his mouth make him seem like an even bigger dickhead.” When asked if he would speak to the president to alleviate rumours suggesting the president was dead, Vance gulped before saying “gee whiz, would you look at the time! I’ve got to have my uh, power nap. Yeah, power nap. It’s tiring being Vice President y’know! Anyway got to go bye bye!” before the vice president dashed to the nearest fire escape. At press time, JD Vance said on his X/Twitter account that he was ready “at the drop of a MAGA hat” to assume the role of president should something happen to Trump before later reiterating that he was “still unsure if anything has happened to the president, such as him hypothetically croaking in the middle of a night after one too many McNuggets.”