TOKYO, JAPAN—Pushing the boundaries of what is possible with renewable energy, Japanese scientists demonstrated Sunday how they can now convert footsteps into electricity.

"This could be the ultimate solution to the climate crisis," said Dr. Sekiguchi Mae, an expert in the development of renewable energy at the University of Tokyo. "As we have demonstrated today, we can harness the power of the human footstep and generate a small amount of electricity from it. Alongside having zero emissions, footsteps are incredibly cost effective. If you have feet and can walk, then we're in business, baby!"

The experimental technology developed by researchers at the University of Tokyo showed a kinetic device that can be affixed to floors, pavements, zebra crossings, and inside people. Scientists envision a future in which technology like treadmills and human-sized hamster wheels allow the entirety of humanity to contribute to the power grid, with estimates suggesting every single person on Earth would need to use a treadmill or hamster wheel for only 12 hours a day to supply energy demands.

"Yes… Ha ha ha… yes!" bellowed exceptionally giddy AI bros following the demonstration from the University of Tokyo. "Finally, a way to take even more from the masses. We stole their art, their RAM, GPU's, their trust in photos and videos, but now we can strip mine further, claiming the power of their very own feet to power our data centres!"

At press time, feet fetishists across the globe were ecstatic at the idea of a future where the entirety of the world's power supply was derived from feet.