JEZZINE, LEBANON—In the aftermath of an Israeli airstrike that killed 3 Lebanese journalists, Ali Shoeib of Al-Manar TV, as well as siblings Fatima and Mohamed Ftouni of Al Mayadeen, officials for the Israel Defense Forces said that the act of journalism is antisemitic. "ELIMINATED: Ali Shoeib, a Hezbollah Radwan Force terrorist who operated for years under the antisemitic role of a journalist for the “Al-Manar” network. As is understood by all, partaking in journalism, especially that of which aims to paint Israel in a negative light, is deeply antisemitic," said a tweet on the IDF's Twitter page. "We have seen a disturbing pattern in this war and in the decades prior of Israel claiming journalism as being antisemitic for some fuckass reason. Journalists are not antisemitic for doing journalism and as such cannot be seen as legitimate targets, regardless of the outlet they work for, unless its Fox News or something," read an alert in part posted on the Committee to Protect Journalist's website. Following growing condemnation from across the world, including Lebanese President Joseph Aoun, the IDF said it would go further, claiming that The Wasted Onion was itself antisemitic, as the The Only News Source's name shares at least 6 letters with the word "antisemitism," such as the letters A, E, I, N, S and T. At press time, inside sources close to the IDF claimed the military was preparing airstrikes against you, the reader, as reading or thinking of the word journalism made you highly likely to be a Hezbollah sympathiser and antisemite.