MINNEAPOLIS, MN—In the aftermath of a second fatal shooting by the hand of an Immigration and Customs Enforcement agent, this time of 37-year-old Minneapolis resident and U.S. citizen Alex Pretti, sparking renewed outrage and huge protests across the nation, ICE has issued a statement saying that Mr. Pretti would not have been shot if he simply was just never born. "The man now identified as the domestic terrorist and leftist agitator Alex Pretti would never have gotten himself shot by our patriotic and heroic agents if he simply just were never born in the first place," said Border Patrol Commander Gregory Bovino while sporting a fake moustache that resembled that of Adolf Hitler. "It is very simple, as long as you are never conceived, then you will not impede the federal governments operations across the nation to remove illegal aliens and keep Americans safe. However, if you are born, then tough luck hot shot, you're on the chopping block of our government sanctioned death squad full of untrained, braindead simpletons who value life so lowly that they legitimately think this is ‘Call of Duty’ in real life." In a press briefing following the incident, Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem said that Mr. Pretti, a ICU nurse at a Veterans Affairs hospital, was "the most horrific kind of evil. A person who tried to make the world a better place," before proceeding to laugh manically as her eyes turned red. At press time, Democrats warned ICE and Trump administration officials it would be handing them a "strongly worded" letter that demands ICE to pinkie-promise to kill people a little less frequently.