TECOLUCA, EL SALVADOR—In yet another blow to the agency regarding its tactics and accuracy when it comes to how it handles law enforcement, U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement has mistakenly deported U.S. Vice President JD Vance to the Centro de Confinamiento del Terrorismo (CECOT) maximum security prison in El Salvador. "Today our brave and patriotic ICE heroes have captured and deported another highly dangerous illegal alien from American soil. Even more frightening was that this illegal alien was in close proximity to President Trump, claiming that he was the so-called vice president of the United States, which is just preposterous, no American has the first name JD," said Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem. Following intense confusion from the press pool and public after her announcement, Mrs. Noem said in a further statement that she was "regretful" for deporting the vice president, explaining that it was "simply now impossible to get him back as the Salvadorans are now responsible for Vance. Unfortunately ICE agents were unable to identify the vice president regardless of his pleas due to him not having applied his eyeliner yet." When asked about the deportation of JD Vance, President Trump showed a lack of interest, shrugging before commenting that "I don't know who that is, I'm still waiting for someone to hang Mike Pence." At press time, Salvadorian President Nayib Bukele claimed that JD Vance was "settling in well" to his new cell in CECOT, which he is currently sharing with over 55 other wrongly imprisoned men.