HOLLYWOOD, CA—Ensuring that the world-famous digital content can be passed down to future generations, Paramount Skydance announced Wednesday that it will release a multi-disc Blu-ray compilation of the Internet's most infamous AI slop.

"Today is a monumental day for filmmaking and the entertainment industry as a whole," said David Ellison, CEO of Paramount Skydance. "As artificial intelligence continues to outpace human creativity at every turn, and as audiences increasingly consume the endless slurry of mindless drool these wonderful AI programs churn out, we will see AI become the predominant cultural zeitgeist. This is why we are preserving the most significant AI slop created thus far into a multi-disc collection, which will be available to purchase on Blu-ray in a week's time. Don't say we haven't done anything nice for you recently."

The Blu-ray collection, comprised of six whole discs filled to the brim with only the sloppiest of AI generated nonsense, is sourced primarily from YouTube content farms, Roku's new Fairground AI Creator TV channel, the White House social media pages, U.S. President Donald Trump's Truth Social account, and clips of Fruit Love Island. Paramount Skydance added that the compilation boasts a 168-hour runtime, alongside a special feature that allows owners to generate their own AI slop from the comfort of their sofa.

"I find it vile that Paramount Skydance would do this, why didn't they include Shrimp Jesus?" said Meta CEO Mark Zuckerberg following the announcement. "Facebook birthed some of the finest, sloppiest AI garbage to grace the world so far. Yet somehow Ellison decided to include Roku's AI slop and omit ours? Those hacks over at Roku have barely scratched the surface of AI-based enshittification. We are the poster child for this revolution and as such should be enshrined in the archives for it!"

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