The Wasted Onion

Gianni Infantino Apologises For ‘Errors,’ Vows To Keep Making Them

Gianni Infantino Apologises For ‘Errors,’ Vows To Keep Making Them
6 AUGUST 2026

RABAT, MOROCCO—Following an emergency crisis meeting in which senior executives backed his leadership, FIFA President Gianni Infantino apologised for "errors" made regarding a proposal to secure private investment in FIFA tournaments, vowing that he would make those exact same errors again in the future.

"The FIFA Secretary General and members of the FIFA Management Board in attendance reaffirmed their full support for FIFA President Gianni Infantino and his ongoing error-making," read an official press release on FIFA's website. "In a separate letter to the FIFA Council and FIFA Member Associations, an apology was made for these errors together with a firm commitment to ensure they happen again. A comprehensive review will now be conducted, and a report will be presented to the FIFA Council at its next scheduled meeting to double down on these errors going forward."

UEFA, for its part, responded swiftly, issuing a scathing statement warning that Infantino's continued tenure would "jeopardise the integrity of world football and tournaments like the World Cup going forward." The European governing body went further, cautioning member associations against backing the embattled president, predicting another term under Infantino would result in more unsolicited World Cup halftime shows no one asked for or wanted.

"The meeting also addressed the FIFA Forward Enterprise (FFE) proposal, where mistakes made were openly acknowledged and solemnly promised to be repeated," continued the statement from FIFA. "It was agreed that it was the explicit intention for the FIFA Council and FIFA Member Associations to feel excluded from the process, and that the process should be handled no differently in the future. It was further acknowledged that errors were also made after the proposal was leaked to the media, reinforcing the urgent need to make those exact same errors all over again."

At press time, the Union of Dictatorship and Authoritarian Football Associations, or UDAFA, released a statement throwing their "full and pathologically unwavering" support behind Infantino's continued tenure as FIFA president.