OXFORD, ENGLAND—Amid presidential candidate EvilJeffalo questioning the integrity of the election's rules Friday, The Wasted Onion reached out to leading election experts for their analysis, finding they resoundingly agreed they had no clue what wasteof is.

"Wait, I'm sorry, what's wasteof exactly?" asked a bewildered Christian Chapman, a political scientist at the University of Oxford. "Look, I really don't get why you're calling me about this. We have actual elections going on. Meanwhile, you're busy asking me about some niche social media site literally called wasteof.money? What do they even talk about on there? How to waste their money? Please, next time you call, make it about something that actually matters, or I'm blocking your number."

Furthermore, Chapman added that he would report The Wasted Onion's journalist as spam if they continued to call him about what he described as "unserious" subjects. He further warned the reporter that any attempts to speak with him in person about the integrity and rules of the wasteof election would be met with swift legal action, claiming he was not above getting a restraining order against the journalist if required. The senior political scientist also pleaded with the reporter to stop referring to him by the nickname "Charlie Chapman."

"Evil… who? Thrat? Juni? Wait, why are you talking about an owl? Huh?" asked Ella-Rose Nicholson, a political scientist and colleague of Mr. Chapman at the University of Oxford. "Wasteof presidential election integrity? What? Is that some kind of principality I haven't heard of? Oh… wait, don't tell me you're the reporters that called my colleague Christian at three in the morning today. You really freaked him out. Honestly, you're freaking me out too. If you don't leave my office right now, I will need to call security to remove you from the campus grounds."

At press time, The Wasted Onion reporters were being dragged on their knees by Oxford University security personnel, who reportedly told the journalists as they threw them out that "no one gives a shit about this money-waste site or whatever the fuck it's called."

I Am Pleased To Announce The Kiwi-Late Administration Endorses Count Binface For Wasteof President

Hello wasteof users, for it is I, EngineerRunner. The Kiwi-Late administration has been busy contemplating who would be the best fit to replace us as the election draws to a close. It's been a long and arduous process, but alas we have arrived at a decision. As your Secretary of Propaganda, I am pleased to do my job for the first time and announce that the Kiwi-Late administration is officially endorsing Count Binface, the leader of the Recyclons from the planet Sigma IX, for wasteof president.

We do not make this choice lightly. President Kiwi consulted with Vice President Late for almost the entirety of the election cycle, as they wanted to ensure only the most capable candidate was given their official seal of approval, which will be shipped to Binface via standard post in two-to-three business days. The administration understands this may come as a shock to many, but it is with the greatest hope that you understand our reasoning for selecting Count Binface to endorse, and hopefully, to lead wasteof into the future.

Firstly, Binface has proven to be a remarkable foe in previous elections, having run against Reform UK Leader Nigel Farage and UK Prime Minister Andy Burnham in high-stakes by-elections that swept the world up into his intergalactic hands. Not just that, but Binface towered over his opponents thanks to his incredible, imposingly tall helmet constructed from only the most formidable bins available. When you consider his policies, such as making arcade grabber games fairer, a windfall tax on cosy crime novels "written" by celebrities, and building at least one affordable house, we could truly see wasteof prosper under his trash leadership.

And of course, we cannot forget the most powerful point for why you should vote for Count Binface: he's literally a bin. Think about it, truly think it over. The values of wasteof align perfectly with the Recyclon. wasteof.money is all about wasting anything and everything, whether it be money, time, or even dignity. What could be more poetic than having a president who is a literal waste bin? He would waste like no one has wasted before. Even the act of voting for Binface is, in and of itself, a waste, as you would be putting your vote in the bin.

That is why the Kiwi-Late administration is telling you to take your vote, walk up to the polls, and put it straight in the bin. You should do it not just with patriotism and pride, but with the joyful comfort of knowing wasteof will be in the safe, gloved hands of a Bindependence warrior.

Elsewhere on the Campaign Trail

• In an embarrassingly unforced blunder Saturday morning, presidential frontrunner Thrat prematurely declared they were now Jeffalo, the owner of wasteof.money. Failing to realise that the election had not concluded yet, nor that they were in fact not the owner of the social media site.
• Making a last-minute policy pledge Friday evening, EvilJeffalo, who is currently placed second in the polls, announced that they would force all wasteof users to read The Wasted Onion or face the death penalty if elected.
• Following a fact-check by The Wasted Onion's clinically depressed newsroom, it can be confirmed that Juni, who is currently on track to lose the election, has yet to physically hurt anyone, even though they pledged to do so as part of their campaign platform if wasteof users failed to vote for her.
• In a massive blow to her flailing campaign, Owl, who stated in her campaign promises that she "didn't burn your eyes with this post," has reportedly burned her eyes with her own post.