THE INTERNET—Ever since the beginning of the Kiwi-Late Administration, the TallPeter files have been at the top of the public political discussion across wasteof, with citizens demanding their release since President Kiwi pledged to do so at the beginning of his term. Today The Wasted Onion can reveal it has obtained CIA documents that are part of the TallPeter files. The files, known by many as the TallPeter files, are a large trove of documents pertaining to the assassination of 2025 wasteof presidential candidate and tall as hell dude TallPeter, who was shot near one of The Wasted Onion’s over 1.5 trillion headquarters. According to information provided by @Leaks, the files are a collection of documents created by the previous Auriali-Perrin Administration and the current wasteof government that catalogue the initial investigation all the way up to the current administration's efforts to track down the suspect who fled the scene. The documents are believed to be reports, memorandums, evidence lists, dossiers, email correspondences and fun trivia cards about the history of the taco. The partially redacted documents acquired by The Wasted Onion from an anonymous source wearing a Guy Fawkes mask are six pages from a top secret CIA Special Inquiry which was written by the CIA as a summary for the president of the current situation regarding the agencies investigation into finding the suspect who killed TallPeter, with autopsy details, photo evidence as well as hypotheses about potential suspects, with wasteof users such as @Thrat, @Owl, @Mef, @Burrito and more being named as suspects. The pages also contain a photograph shared by the president online of a handwritten shopping list, proving their legitimacy and how goddamn good we are at our jobs. Due to the sensitivity of these documents, The Wasted Onion Editorial Board has decided to release them recklessly, saying in a statement that “you only live once!” The Wasted Onion has reached out to the Crack House for comment on why the fuck they put us as a suspect, but have yet to hear back.