The Wasted Onion

Elon Musk Becomes Worlds First Cybertruck Owner

Elon Musk Becomes Worlds First Cybertruck Owner
12 JUNE 2026

STARBASE, TX—Achieving the monumental milestone as shares in his rocket company SpaceX soared as it began trading on the stock market Friday, businessman Elon Musk, the richest person in the world, became the worlds first owner of a Tesla Cybertruck. "This is not just my achievement, it's an achievement for the world. It was not long ago that many thought it would be impossible for anyone to own a Cybertruck. No one thought when Rockefeller became the worlds first billionaire that he'd be able to own a Cybertruck, since they hadn't been invented yet. But its now a reality," said Musk as he stood next to the rectangular metal rust bucket known internally at Tesla as the Cybertruck. "I plan to make life multiplanetary. Not just a few astronauts, I mean literally you. Wherever you are watching this, SpaceX wants to be able to take you to the moon, take you to Mars and ultimately to your local Tesla store to purchase your very own Cybertruck." Mr. Musk added that he planned to send humans to Mars by the time you finish reading this article. At press time, Musk was seen making a gesture that seemed like a salute to celebrate his milestone, with many condemning it as a Nazi salute, with Musk dismissing the accusation as "incorrect," before correcting the record by stating Benito Mussolini was his preferred fascist to idolise rather than Adolf Hitler.