THE INTERNET—Giving information about upcoming updates to Earth as it prepares to enter the new year, the developers of Earth have revealed 2026 will suck as much goddamn fucking shit as 2025 did. “As we look forward to the new year and the updates that we have lined up, we are able to let users know that 2026 will suck about as much as 2025 has. This is due to a variety of reasons, such as various unintended bugs that have yet to be remedied and will need our full attention for the next few months. This has delayed work on feature updates, such as the highly requested rebalance of democratic erosion and backsliding,” said the massive nerds on the official @EarthDevs account. “We understand this is not ideal, and we will work as hard as we can to provide those updates that will hopefully make future years more enjoyable for our users going forward. But for now, you can expect a lot of the same from 2026 as you got during 2025. Who knows, maybe you’ll grow to like it.” Following the announcement, users of Earth grew frustrated, sending in over 8,266,855,887 complaints to the developers official feedback form. At press time, Earth developers issued a hotfix that made dictatorships 25% more likely to happen in the country you live in.