SILICON VALLEY—Standing before reporters and hailing the new device as “the next big thing in the mobile phone space,” Blaze owner KyleTech announced the company’s debut smartphone powered by potatoes. “After revolutionizing the social media space, I pondered where the flame of social media should go next. Then, in a vision, I realised our next move, smartphones! Not just any smartphone, no, a smartphone powered by the humble potato. Behold, the BlazePhone 1,” said KyleTech at a keynote outside a McDonald’s parking lot surrounded by reporters snapping pictures of the device in his hand while a potato dangled below connected to the device via a charging cable. “Now, I know what many of you will be thinking; why would we develop a smartphone that requires a potato to function? Well, it’s simple really, because it’s just more convenient, no more pesky power bricks, just good ol’ fashioned spuds!” The Blaze owner continued, explaining that by powering the device with potatoes would mean that users could cook a delicious jacket potato with whipped feta and sumac after they were finished using the device for the day. At press time, the BlazePhone had been added to the Blaze eStore, but according to reports the storefront had gone offline with a message claiming that the site was down due to web development platform Wix experiencing server issues due to a lack of lemons needed to power the company’s data centres.