Beloved Queen Elsa Found Dead After Ice Palace Melts
NORTH MOUNTAIN, ARENDELLE—Leaving the local population reeling as the tragic news travelled across the kingdom, Queen Elsa was found dead Thursday after her legendary Ice Palace melted.
"It is with the utmost sorrow that we announce the death of our beloved Snow Queen Elsa," read a notice posted outside Arendelle Castle in part. "Elsa was one of the brightest lights of our kingdom, casting her joy and grace onto us all. She will be gravely missed. We ask that the privacy of the royal family be respected at this time. Tributes to Her Majesty will commence over the coming weeks once we acquire 25 metric tonnes of replacement ice."
It is understood that the late Snow Queen's palace, which was constructed entirely of ice, succumbed to rising global temperatures in the face of ongoing climate change. While the North Mountain remains relatively cool compared to the rest of the kingdom, temperatures have soared over the last few months by 5-7°C, resulting in the Ice Palace beginning to melt. Attempts to refreeze the palace were futile in the face of oil companies like BP and Shell establishing oil-drilling operations directly adjacent to the palace.
"We send out deepest condolences to the Arendelle royal family during these difficult times," said BP CEO Meg O'Neill after her company began facing backlash for its oil-drilling activity near the Ice Palace. "We understand the strong emotions coming from the residents of Arendelle at this moment. You are grieving, and those who are in turmoil lash out. We take this with grace and acceptance. Our work in the North Mountains has brought property to the local area in the shape of jobs and exports, which we are deeply proud of. Without BP, Arendelle would not be capable of financing the two upcoming Frozen sequels in production at Disney."
At press time, Arendelle Castle announced that Queen Anna, Elsa's younger sister, had also died after inhaling vast quantities of the industrial smog produced by the ongoing oil-drilling operations in the North Mountains.