WESTMINSTER, ENGLAND—Cutting off its regular TV and radio programmes to inform viewers of the breaking news, lesser media organisation the BBC interrupted its broadcasts Tuesday to announce that former Queen Elizabeth II is still dead. "We are interrupting our regularly scheduled programming to bring you breaking news that Her Majesty, former Queen of the United Kingdom and the Commonwealth, Elizabeth II, is still dead," said newscaster Charles Pearce as he read a pre-prepared statement. "We are getting new information that confirms the former queen died on the 8th of September 2022 at Balmoral Castle in Scotland. She was laid to rest on the 19th of September 2022, BBC News can confirm after reading the Wikipedia article about her state funeral." The special announcement was then concluded by playing a myriad of the former monarch's favourite songs, such as "WAP" by Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion, "Oochie Coochie" by MC Brains, "Cheeky Song (Touch My Bum)" by The Cheeky Girls, "I Saw an X-Ray of a Girl Passing Gas" by Butthole Surfers, "Goon Squad" by Deftones, and "I Cannot Fucking Wait Til Morrissey Dies" by JPEGMAFIA. At press time, the BBC interrupted its broadcasts for the second time, announcing that former Prince Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor was still a paedophile who hung out with child sex offender and sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein.