SANDRINGHAM, ENGLAND—Believing that a man of his status should be above standard investigative procedures, Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor launched a legal challenge Monday against Thames Valley Police for doing their job for a change.

"The actions of Thames Valley Police during its execution of warrants were appalling," claimed a high court filing submitted by the former prince's legal team. "The force was reckless and did not consider that Mr. Mountbatten-Windsor was in the middle of a very relaxing morning shooting session. Furthermore, officers decided to execute the warrants on our client's 66th birthday. Was it not possible to hold out for one more day?"

The complaint centres around the legality of search warrants obtained by the police force and whether they should be quashed via judicial review. According to lesser news outlet The Telegraph, which first published the story, it is understood that judges presiding over the case are already visibly irritated and exhausted by having to listen to the former Duke of York's endless whining.

"Whilst our investigation into misconduct in public office continues, we are engaged in legal proceedings in relation to warrants previously obtained from the central criminal court," said a statement from Thames Valley Police. "As these legal proceedings are currently ongoing, it would be inappropriate for us to comment further. However, we will put it on the record that the suspect is a total scumbag. We actually investigate a crime for once and we get dragged to court for it? Never making that mistake again."

At press time, Thames Valley Police Chief Constable Jason Hogg said that he had officially petitioned King Charles III to strip Andrew of his "Mountbatten" and "Windsor" surnames out of spite.