WALL STREET, NY—Following many popular AI chatbots such as OpenAI's ChatGPT, Google's Gemini, and Anthropic's Claude implementing rate or token limits, advertising, and other measures to restrict how much users on free plans can use their models, investors were amazed Tuesday at how fast the AI industry has been able to enshittify itself. "It's truly amazing. Artificial intelligence is revolutionising the world as we know it. This technology is going to change every industry forever. And now on top of all that, the AI industry is finding pathways to enshittification faster than any previous technology!" said Reece Campbell, an investor in multiple AI companies such as xAI, Perplexity AI, and Dumbass AI. "I thought the enshittification of social media like Twitter or Reddit was an exciting display of maximising shareholder value. Then we got to see Google make their search engine completely shit the bed in the name of making the line go up. But man, the AI industry has shown us how to well and truly bleed everyone dry of their cash and sanity in order to feed shareholders a delectable dividend," said another elated investor with shares in companies like Midjourney, Microsoft and YouAreAnIdiotIfYouInvestInThisAI. The news comes at the "perfect time" according to industry experts, giving investors more confidence in AI's future after the failure of technologies like NFT's to survive long enough to enshittify. At press time, various AI companies announced plans to add more advertising into every nook and cranny possible, endless paywalls, countless subscription price increases, and Wikipedia-style banners begging users to hand over their goddamn money.