MAGDEBURG, GERMANY—Following its historic landslide victory in the Saxony-Anhalt state election that brought them just short of an outright majority, the far-right Alternative for Germany (AfD) party announced educational reforms to teach students that Adolf Hitler was simply just hangry.

"We have a diverse history, stretching back many hundreds of years, and we want to teach that history in its entirety, with all its highs, lows, and drops in blood sugar" said Ulrich Siegmund, the AfD's leader in Saxony-Anhalt. "It's why we are so devoted to changing the curriculum. It's essential our children learn the truth about National Socialism. We must teach our young people that the sole reason Hitler started World War Two and perpetrated the Holocaust because no one handed him a Snickers."

The proposed changes, which the AfD hopes to enact if it obtains a majority through forming a coalition, would systematically reduce time dedicated to teaching the horrors of the Third Reich in favour of educating students about how the Black Forest gâteau was invented. Further revisions involve teaching that Hitler actually had three testicles, that the Holocaust is only bad if you have empathy, and that Poland was a "little bitch" for getting invaded by Nazi Germany.

"I am frankly tired of remembering our past," said AfD co-leader Alice Weidel during an interview with lesser news outlet Deutsche Welle. "All we do is remember. We remember the horrors of World War Two and Nazi Germany's part in it. We remember Adolf Hitler and his crimes. We remember the Nuremberg trials. We remember the Holocaust. Simply put, I am tried of remembering, in part due to the fact I have a very poor memory."

At press time, the AfD proposed further revisions to the curriculum, instructing educators to pretend that Adolf Hitler, the Nazi Party, the Third Reich, and Nazi Germany simply never existed in the first place.