SWANTON, OH—Warning a crowd of supporters that the very fabric of reality was on the ballot, Donald Trump Jr. claimed Monday that the Democrats would make Ohio a real place if they win control of both chambers in the upcoming midterm elections.

"They want to pack the Supreme Court. They want to make Ohio a real place," said Trump Jr. during an appearance at Vice President JD Vance’s Ohio campaign event in Swanton, Ohio. "I don’t know how it works, but you know, they can do these things and get away with it. They are going to use woke dark magic to bring forth the fictional online memes ‘can't have shit in Ohio’ and ‘only in Ohio’ into the real world and make it the 50th state. They are going to turn America into a joke."

This is not the first instance of Trump's eldest son making false, fantastical claims about U.S. history and geography. During an appearance at rally for his father's 2024 re-election campaign, Trump Jr. asserted that Los Angeles, California, was originally named "Los Santos" and that the surrounding state was named "San Andreas." Trump Jr. went on to claim the city and state were secretly renamed by former President Barack Obama, alleging the Obama administration utilized Neuralyzer technology from Men in Black to wipe the public's memory of the "original" names.

"Wait, what?" said 43-year-old Swanton local Stanley Matthews, who attended at the rally where Trump Jr. made his claim about Ohio not being a real, physical place. "I mean, does he not realise that he's currently in Ohio? Does he think he's in Michigan instead? Hold on, does JD Vance know he's in Ohio either? Oh god, this is hurting my head. Look, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt, he might have just misspoke, right? If he starts to claim that Florida isn't real, then we know he's really lost it."

At press time, Trump Jr. claimed that Florida was a "PSYOP created by the deep state" to conceal the fact that the state was in fact a "landmass created not from earth, but rather a writhing mass of alligators."