WASHINGTON—Hot off the heels of a "blue tsunami" in which voters resoundingly rejected U.S. President Donald Trump and his Republican Party, Democratic Party leaders have announced they are already preparing plans on how to best squander their majorities in the House of Representatives and the Senate.

"This election is a vital moment in American history," said Senate Democratic Leader Chuck Schumer to a group of previously awake supporters. "The American people have given the Democratic Party a clear mandate: to do everything in our power to let every opportunity to improve their lives and hold the Trump administration to account slip through our fingers. That is exactly what we will do."

According to Democratic insiders who spoke to The Wasted Onion, strategists and consultants for the party are already focus-grouping detailed plans to squander all the inroads that have been made into red states. Early suggestions include never-ending bipartisan concessions, refusals to investigate Trump administration officials or allies, abandoning campaign promises regarding healthcare, and throwing every vulnerable minority group under the bus when deemed politically convenient.

"Trust is earned, which is why I am assuring those who voted for a Democrat-led House that we will do everything possible to waste this opportunity," said House Democratic Leader Hakeem Jeffries. "We have it all mapped out. From the first moment in January when the new House is sworn in, we will be throwing all of our newfound political capital out of the metaphorical window. You voted, and we heard you: we will infight, we will concede, and we will do all we can to let down everyone."

At press time, Democratic strategists were already hard at work formulating ideas on how to lose the 2028 presidential election.